It's like I'm 19 all over again

I was supposed to start my one credit student development class last Thursday. It's an "Intro to Careers in blah blah blah" and I HAVE to take it, even though it's stupid and I've already been to college for five years. It's a dynamic class which means it only lasts for six weeks. Most of your work is done on Blackboard but we do meet in class on four mandatory days. One of which was supposed to be last week. So last Thursday evening 20 something other people and I were sitting around in class and guess what? The teacher never shows. Which turns out to be both good and bad. Bad that I had to drive 45 minutes to get there, wait twenty five minutes for nothing and then drive 35 minutes home. It was rush hour on the way there. Good because now he's going to take a consensus and see if everyone wants to meet two Thursdays in a row to get back on schedule or just pretend like this Thursday is our first day and push everything back a week. PUSH EVERYTHING BACK A WEEK. That's exactly how I answered his email. That would leave the week of April 9-13 open and Sarasota would be back on! I so hope everyone agrees. When I checked the Blackboard for our reading assignments and whatnot, I finally took the time to read our class syllabus. My heart jumped up into my throat when I learned that we would need to participate in a debate during our last class meeting. I felt like throwing up. I hate public speaking. Always have, always will. I've never been able to get over it even though in Radford I was asked to present numerous projects and papers for various classes. I just don't. like. it. at. all. I can write the 400 page dissertation and my source page could be a mile long but when it comes time to present it in front of strangers; my voice cracks, my heart palpitates, my hands sweat and my face turns beet red. I've tried applying alcohol, that only makes things worse. Slurring and stuttering don't necessarily make for a smooth presentation. It's not very becoming either. I've tried looking over everyones heads or picturing them naked. Doesn't work for me either. Somehow I've always managed to get through them. But by then end I feel like I'm about to pass out and I look like a complete and total asshole...even if I'm comfortable with the material. So that is what I'll be stressing about for the next six weeks. How big of an ass can I make of myself debating a list of issues that I really don't care about. Ugh. I think we have to pick partners too. Which, oh my god. That just about enough to make me check myself into the loony bin. But hey! I may just get to go to Florida first!

Tags: public speaking, college, life happened